Durelle Price
Dedicated to building strong communities by strengthening families and youth, Durelle Price has served as an educator, motivator, and coalition/initiative leader mobilizing communities across the country and building their capacity to serve. Family Matters Seminars and Workshops founder and author of programs such as Intelligent Dating, Teen Esteem, Successful Survivors and Response Matters, Ms. Price hosted the Nashville public television educational series “Family Matters” featuring her award-winning dating violence prevention program DATE SAFE.
Durelle is partnering with Jennifer’s Story Foundation (JSF) to launch Operation Yellow Dress bringing The Yellow Dress, a one-woman dating violence prevention play to Texas schools. Currently strategic consultant to the Community Solutions Cooperative of Rockwall TX, Price is also formerly: president of ANTHEM (The Alliance of North Texas Healthy Effective Marriages) Family Safety Council; president of a Tennessee regional task force; and liaison to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Ms. Price has pioneered projects including: The Community Accountability Project; Kids in Crisis—Helping Hands; and PeaceFeast ’99.
Her professional journey advanced from Victim Advocate, Crisis Counselor, Executive Director to her role at FranklinCovey as a Strategic Consultant working with Dr. John Covey where she wrote and designed custom curricula including the highly acclaimed 8 Habits of a Successful Marriage program. She has traveled across the U.S. certifying facilitators to teach military, couples, families, and youth. Durelle was honored to serve as a consulting writer on best-selling author, Sean Covey’s book, The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make: A Guide for Teens, which features highlights from her Intelligent Dating program.
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The Death of the Dream
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20 Years Later--Speaking at the New Beginning Center Candlelight Vigil
Did you know that October was Relationship Violence Awareness Month? Probably not. Many other worthy causes have overshadowed this pandemic that thrives in the shadows.
Relationship violence destroys the lives of adults, teens and children. Recently, a teen told me she hadn’t realized she was in an abusive relationship until she read the story on page 185 of Sean Covey’s book, The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make.
In what seems like someone else’s story now, at 22, I was so beaten down physically and emotionally—I believed the lies of my batterer: that I was stupid, worthless, and pathetic. I sought to end my life, but failing in the attempt, I awakened in intensive care, angry and cursed the heavens and the hospital for sending me back to that house of horrors. I had given up on my only asset—me; on any chance that I might find some inkling of happiness or success. Then later at 24, looking down at my newborn daughter, I saw my purpose reflected in her big blue eyes. I had a mission— to be the best mother I could possibly be.
It would take five years to let go of the dangerous hope for change and the lies I’d told myself that kept me chained to a relationship filled with broken egg shells, broken spirits, and broken dreams. I had to grieve the loss as one would a death. I used to think it was the death of that cowardly, witless little girl, but now I know it was the death of the dream I grieved—the dream of having the perfect family—mommy, daddy, baby; living in harmony.
The scenario can be had. It was the actors’ inability to fulfill the roles that brought the show to a close. I had to relinquish my role—grieve the loss of the notion that the only way I could succeed was to stay and tough it out; be the perfect mommy, the good wife and help him change; lie motionless in the uncomfortable, seemingly flame-retardant bed I had, indeed, made. But at 30 years of age, I metaphorically burned that bed and over the years have tried to outrun the smoldering memories that linger in my subconscious. Some nights I still scream out and leap for the door. I still look in the rearview mirror fearful that I will see his angry face behind the wheel of the car behind me. I still set the security alarm each time I enter my home and check all the doors and windows before going to sleep.
Yet, I face the mirror each morning thrilled to see the fresh face of a neo 19 year old free of bruises and remind myself of who I am today—of the hurdles over which I have bounded and helped others to clear; of the accomplishments I can call my own: of the amazing husband who has stood by my side now for 17 years supporting any and all of my personal and professional efforts; and of the blossoming young woman whom I am blessed to call my daughter. For I know now that the courage and triumph was never in the staying, it was in the leaving.
If you are suffering in an abusive relationship—there is hope. Get help and get out. Call your nearest shelter and break the chains. Leave the habits behind that kept you trapped. Learn and live The 7 Habits of Successful Families. Living them has helped me, and I know it can help you too.
15 Comments to The Death of the Dream
As the first (of five) “products” of an abusive relationship, I’ve seen first hand how difficult it is to make -and stick to- the decision to leave. It took my mother 22 years. Not exactly the childhood I would pick, but certainly one that gave me a punch list of things that I would never tolerate in a relationship. Ever.
Congratulations on your anniversary.
Rhonda BuckleyOctober 30, 2009
Your story is truly moving and inspirational. You are such a positive role model for anyone who may feel that they have lost all hope. Your bravery, compassion and humanity shine in all of your efforts to support families and victims and promote awareness education. Your energy and spirit are infectious and energize those of us who have the pleasure of working with you. Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts.
-Rhonda
Nancy BlackOctober 30, 2009
I applaud your strength and your resolve. If every woman in this situation could be so brave and determined, self confidence would flourish, which would result in stronger women, stronger families!
Kathy WatkinsOctober 31, 2009
Your story,success, energy, and willingness to serve are an inspiration to all. Thank you for sharing and helping others!
Janelle WootenNovember 1, 2009
I did know October was Relationship Violence Awareness Month thanks to you and the others that support such a wonderful cause! You are doing a great job!
Barbara LukeNovember 1, 2009
A story like yours inspires others to know that they can escape an abusive relationship and move on to healthy relationships, confident self-esteem, and a positive and fulfilling future.
Thanks for all your fine work.
What an inspiring story! You are so brave to tell it so that others might follow your example. Please encourage those you know suffering from abuse in the Tarrant County area to call SafeHaven’s hotline, 1-877-701-SAFE (7233) or visit our web site at http://www.safehaventc.org. We can help!
Brandy SchimmelNovember 2, 2009
You are an inspiration and a truly loving woman who is a fabulous mother. I am privileged to have gotten to know you…what a great lady.
Durelle,
I am glad I know you and proud of the work you are doing. 
-=Chris
Jennifer MorrisonNovember 2, 2009
Durelle – Thanks for sharing your story so freely so others can be safe, healthy and free to live life as they choose. You are an amazing person and I am honored to call you friend and colleague. Those who are seeking help can always call the National Domestic Hotline at (800)799-SAFE or in Dallas County contact New Beginning Center at (972)276-0057 and http://www.newbeginningcenter.org
Jennifer Morrison
Alexis JadeNovember 2, 2009
What an unbelievably courageous story. Thank you for sharing your light with others and for reminding everyone (even if we have to scream it from the rooftops!) that there is hope and that there is life after the storm. Reading this inspired me and made me think of some wise words from Marianne Williamson- “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” This touches me and I want all of those who feel beaten down, as you once did, to chant this to themselves and love themselves more than they love the “dream” BREAK THE CYCLE Tell Someone and thank you for your honesty and for writing this blog. I always find it very informative and am a huge fan of the Franklin Covey 8 Habits of a Highly Successful Marriage -AJ
KarenNovember 2, 2009
Thank you for all of the hard work you do; you are changing lives. I know this to be true because you changed mine! Your strength, compassion and guidance has helped me see my self worth. . .you’ve taught me to believe in myself and to trust my instincts. . .to have the courage to stand on my own two feet. If you had not inspired me so, I don’t think I would be in the wonderful marriage I am in today. . .Can you believe it will be 11 years on November 7th? I am forever indebted to you. Thank you so much!
DianneNovember 3, 2009
I admire the strong and incredibly talented woman you have become. Although 20 years of my life was entangled in the web of abuse, that is not who I am today.
Thanks for the difference you are making in many lives.
SusanNovember 7, 2009
Durelle – thanks for all you do and for sharing your story to help other young women. You are brave and courageous, and an inspiration.
LarryNovember 19, 2009
Durelle,
Thanks for sharing your story ,which I would image mirrors the thoughts and feelings of many women who have been or still are in an abusive relationship. Hopefully your sharing will motivate some of those still in these types of relationships to seek help. Keep up your efforts!
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October 30, 2009